The Dreamer
She loves to dream. She likes wondering about what could have been, should have been, and may have been. She loves looking at the night-sky - who knows, a shooting star may just fly past one day and she will be able to make her wish. Her wish to be with you.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
oh, the pains of being neither here nor there in life.
i loathe this feeling of not belonging to anywhere.
sure, i used to complain in school about having to study so hard, whining about the short sleeping hours in order to meet deadlines of strict teachers. oh, how i miss those exciting, chaotic, uphill, downswings filled school days.
at least, i knew ! i knew that i belong to somewhere, that i was a student of a Junior College. when i got scolded, i knew that at least the teachers know that im their responsibility, and when im getting ready to step into the hall for my papers, i knew that there'll be a table reserve for me.
now, i feel lost, as i was struggling to write my resume, i realise that my future now depends on me and me alone. im no longer anyone's responsibility ( at least, till im in uni that is !) and it's scary. i rather sacrifice my sleeping hours if that means i have an aim in life, rather get scolded by teachers if that means that im not alone and that someone's responsible of looking after me.
sometimes when i help mommy take care of her students, i'll look at them and i actually get envious of them ! now, instead of being taken care of.... i have to take up the responsiblity of taking care of others.
i cant wait to get into uni. at least maybe when im in, this dreadful feeling will go away and i'll be okay again .
i need a protective hug badly.
♥Thursday, January 29, 2009
