She loves to dream. She likes wondering about what could have been, should have been, and may have been. She loves looking at the night-sky - who knows, a shooting star may just fly past one day and she will be able to make her wish. Her wish to be with you.

oh, the pains of being neither here nor there in life.
i loathe this feeling of not belonging to anywhere.
sure, i used to complain in school about having to study so hard, whining about the short sleeping hours in order to meet deadlines of strict teachers. oh, how i miss those exciting, chaotic, uphill, downswings filled school days.
at least, i knew ! i knew that i belong to somewhere, that i was a student of a Junior College. when i got scolded, i knew that at least the teachers know that im their responsibility, and when im getting ready to step into the hall for my papers, i knew that there'll be a table reserve for me.
now, i feel lost, as i was struggling to write my resume, i realise that my future now depends on me and me alone. im no longer anyone's responsibility ( at least, till im in uni that is !) and it's scary. i rather sacrifice my sleeping hours if that means i have an aim in life, rather get scolded by teachers if that means that im not alone and that someone's responsible of looking after me.
sometimes when i help mommy take care of her students, i'll look at them and i actually get envious of them ! now, instead of being taken care of.... i have to take up the responsiblity of taking care of others.
i cant wait to get into uni. at least maybe when im in, this dreadful feeling will go away and i'll be okay again .
i need a protective hug badly.

♥Thursday, January 29, 2009

i've tried my best.
the ball is in your court.
give up if you want to.
i'll get the message then.

♥Wednesday, January 21, 2009

im smitten by a pretty boy with big warm hands and a wonderful personality.
life's complicated.

♥Wednesday, January 21, 2009

children are the only group of people who have the ability to cheer me up and make me smile effortlessly when im down. i've really enjoyed my time helping mommy take care of her students.ambition:to be a teacher (:

ps. the rest of you darlings too play a significant role in cheering miss claudia up ((: you, my dearest friends, are important to me ((: so please dont vanish, it'll break my heart.....

♥Monday, January 19, 2009

(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle)

Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him)
Guy: Can u take my helmet off and put it on? It’s bugging me.

In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only one survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke,
but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him, felt
her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so she would live even though it
meant he would die.

♥Saturday, January 17, 2009

is this a sign ? i came across this story by chance on the net... which, made me cry. hahah


It all started when I was 6 years old. While I was playing outside on my farm in California, I met a boy. He was an average kind of boy who teased you and then you chased them and beat them up. After that first meeting in which I beat him up we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the fence. That only lasted for a little while though. We would meet at the fence all the time and we were always together. I would tell him all my secrets. He was quite very quiet he would just listen to what I had to say. I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. In school we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk about what happened in school. One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart. He just comforted me and said everything would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him. I was happy and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something else about him that I liked. I thought of it that night and figured it was just a friend kinda thing that I was feeling. All through high school and even through graduation we're always together and of course I thought of it as being friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently. On graduation night even though we had different dates to the prom I wanted to be with him. That night after everybody went home I went to his house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him. Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the stars and talking about what I was going to do and what he was going to do. I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about what his dream was. How he wanted to get married and settle down. He said how he wanted to be rich and successful. All I could do was to tell him my dream and cuddle next to him. I went home hurting because I didn't tell him how I was feeling.I wanted to tell him so bad that I loved him but I was too scared and frightened. I let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell him just how I felt. All through college I wanted to tell him but he always had someone with him. After graduation he got a job in New York, I was happy for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was sad also because I didn't tell him how I felt. But I couldn't let him know now that he was leaving for his big job. So I just kept it to myself and watched him go on the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell him what I had inside my heart. Well, I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way to a computer analyst. I was proud of what I had accomplished. One day I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from him, I was happy and sad at the same time. Now I know that I could never be with him and that we could only be friends. I went to the wedding the next month. It was a big occasion. The big church wedding and the reception at the hotel. I met the bride and of course him. I fell in love one more time. But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in his life. I tried to have fun that night but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy and me trying to be happy covering up my sadness tears inside of me. I left New York feeling that I did the right thing. Before I left on the flight, he came running out of nowhere and said his good-byes and how he was very happy to see me. I came home and just tried to forget about what went on in New York. I had to go on with my life. As the years went on, we wrote to each other on what was going on and how he had missed talking to me. On one occasion he never wrote back to me at all. I was getting worried as to why he hadn't written anything for a long time after I had already written 6 letters to him. Well, just when everything seemed hopeless and sad in my life, I got a note that said: "meet me at the fence where we used to talk about things". I went and saw him there. I was happy to see him, but he was broken-hearted and sad inside. We hugged until we couldn't breathe anymore. Then he told me about the divorce and why he hadn't written for a long time. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Finally, we went back to the house and talked and laughed about what I had been going and to catch up on old times. But in all of this, I couldn't tell him how I felt about him. In the days that followed, he had fun and forgot about all his problem and his divorce. I fell in love again with him. When it came time for him to leave back to New York, I went to see him off and cried. I hated to see him leave. He promised to see me every time he could get a vacation. I couldn't wait for him to come so I could be with him. We would always have fun when we were together. One day he didn't show up like he said he would. I figured that he might have been busy. The days turned into months and I just forgot about it. Then I got a call one day from a lawyer in New York. The lawyer said that he had died in a car accident going to the airport. And that it took this long till everything was settled. It broke my heart. I was shocked about what took place. Now I knew why he didn't come that day. Again, I was broken-hearted. I cried that night, cried tears of sadness and heartache. Asking questions why did this happen to a kind guy like him? I gathered my things and went to New York for the reading of his will.Of course, things were given to his family and his ex-wife. I finally got to meet her since the last time we met at the wedding. She explained to me how he was and how he always provided. But he was always unhappy. She would always try everything but she couldn't get him happy, as he was that night at their wedding. When the will was read, the one thing that was given to me was a diary. It was a dairy that of his life. I cried as it was given to me... As I flew on the plane I remembered the good times that we had together. I started reading the diary and what was written. The diary was started with the day we first met. I read on till I started to cry. The diary told of him saying that he had fallen in love with me that day I was broken-hearted. But he was too afraid to tell me what he had felt. That is why he was so quiet and liked to listen to me. It told of how he wanted to tell me so many times, but was too afraid to say anything. It told of when he went to New York and fell in love with another. How the happiest time he had was seeing me and dancing with me at the wedding. He said he imagined it was our wedding. How he was always unhappy till he had no choice but to divorce his wife. How the best time in his life was to read the letters written to him by me. Finally, the diary ended when it said, "today I will tell her I love her". It was the day he was killed. The day I was going to finally find out what was really in his heart.If you love someone, don't wait till tomorrow to tell him/her. Maybe that next day will never come at all.

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the guy next to me. Hewas my so called "best friend". I stared at his dark, messy hair, and wished he was mine. But he didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, he walked up to me and asked me for the notes he had missed the day before and i handed them to him. He said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was him. He was in tears, mumbling on and on about how his homies had left him. He asked me to come over because he didn't feel like being alone, so I did. As I sat next to him on the sofa, I stared at his beautiful, brown eyes, wishing he was mine. After 2 hours, one basketball movie, and three bags of chips, he decided to go to sleep. Helooked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom he walked to my locker. "My date is sick" he said; she's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, we were standing at my front door step! I stared at him as he smiled at me and stared at me with his crystal eyes. I want him to be mine, but he isn't thinking of me like that, and I know it. Then he said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as his perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get his diploma. I wanted him to be mine, but he didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyonewent home, he came to me in his smock and hat, and I cried as I hugged him. Then he lifted my head from his shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.A Few

Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That guy is getting married now. I watched him say "I do" and drive off to his new life, married to another woman. I wanted him to be mine, but he didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before he drove away, he came to me and said "you came!". He said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a guy who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a letter that he had wrote during his high school years. This is what it read:I stare at her wishing she was mine, but she doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish she would tell me she loved me!I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.

how sad these stories are.
is it a sign?

♥Saturday, January 17, 2009

i was bored... and thus resorted to surfing the net to read wedding proposals, being the ever romantic girl-_- so here are my favourite ones! read , melt and gush over them . im crossing my fingers and praying that i'll be as fortunate as them (: hahaha

1. My girlfriend and I were doing the long distance thing for almost a year, after meeting on a cruise ship while vacationing in the Carribean. She came up to Canada to visit me for 3 weeks over Christmas from her home in a Chicago suburb. After getting permission from her father, her parents (knowing what I had planned) decided to spend Christmas with us. My girlfriend, Chrissy, thought it would be a good idea to spend Christmas Eve together with her parents and suggested booking reservations at The Keg Steakhouse just down the street from where I lived. Little did she know, a month earlier, I had already booked reservations at another Keg Steakhouse 15 minutes away, overlooking Niagara Falls. Just before we went to dinner, I told her to pack her things for overnight because the restaurant overlooking the falls we were going to also gave me a good deal on a hotel room (which was also booked a month earlier). After having a wonderful, elegant dinner with her parents, we went to our suite on the 38th floor overlooking the Falls. After lighting some candles and opening some champagne, I handed her a gift. She opened it up and inside was a scrapbook that I made. The first page was us as kids (with the help of her mom on some pictures) and a page dedicated to each month we have been together over the past year. On the final page I wrote a letter and read it to her out loud. She thought nothing of it because I read her one for her birthday months earlier. As I started reading the letter, fireworks started to go off over Niagara Falls. She wanted me to keep reading so I continued. When I got to the bottom of the love letter I flipped up the page to reveal "Will you marry me?" in cut out letters. As the fireworks were still going off, I reached behind me and pulled out the strategically placed ring. With tears gushing, she wrapped her arms around me and said "yes,yes,yes".

2. One day Travis woke me up to breakfast-in-bed and told me he had a surprise for me. Our suitcases were packed at the front door and I was very suspicious. Around noon, he began taking me to various places that were important to our relationship. Favourite restraunts, favourite parks, we watched the first movie we had ever seen together, and then that night we took a plane ride to Yellowknife. We then scavengered through all of our childhood memory locations and finally he took me to the theatre where we shared our first kiss. When we got onto the stage, looking out into all the empty seats filled with roses and candles, he proposed to me. With Rod Stewart's "Have I Told You Lately" song playing throughout the auditorium I felt like I was in heaven.

these two are my favourite~ *wistful sigh ......

hahahaha !

♥Friday, January 16, 2009

posted up ?? i took it wheen i felt bored while working. ahhaha

♥Monday, January 12, 2009

♥Tuesday, January 06, 2009

faith!
bestie!!
fanglin!!
mcmillan!
camaraderiegems
shoes!
noriko!
roar!
lionel!
shermaine!
mai!
chow!
tzewei!
dom!

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