She loves to dream. She likes wondering about what could have been, should have been, and may have been. She loves looking at the night-sky - who knows, a shooting star may just fly past one day and she will be able to make her wish. Her wish to be with you.

i am pissed.
no more i will run shirt for me.
i lost it.
how can!!!!
i just placed it next to my bag.
and somebody took it from me.
i really want that shirt.
like really.
cause i realise that it's going to be like one of the last few school shirts i have.
oh please...
let me be able to buy another shirt:(

anyway, i wont be onlie much these days...
cause i have kindly AUTHORISED my mom to banned me 500m away from the com.
hahah!

♥Thursday, July 31, 2008

today was an impromptu day !
suppose to study with bob leo fanglin and zhixian?
but in the end, something cropped up.
so bob leo and fanglin left after only a few hours,
and zhixian and i head over to the airport to study.
and my darling aqidah came to meet us ((:
don't i just love her so !
we had so much fun.
she's one of my darlings i'll treasure forever!
supermarket walks, viewing mall, popeyes!
great friend, awesome memories(:

is friendship really that weak?
do i really make people feel so insecure in a friendship?
that they doubt if they matter to me?
or if i'll think too much if they confide in me ?
sometimes, human nature confuses me~

♥Saturday, July 26, 2008

school was kinda horrible today.
everybody's wasn't too good.
or maybe it's mine.
certain people were emo-ing,
which kinda pissed me off.
there were those who thought that i am not their friend,
or maybe someone who is of lowe status than them,
for they decided that they can just raise their voices at me as and when they like.
i told them off,
the reason they gave was cause i irritated them.
er....
so i decided to not talk so much today.
i was more subdued today.
i am just so exhausted from always thinking of others first.
always having to think : oh dear!! how do i make EVERYBODY around me happy?
i am tired.
i have had enough.
enough IS enough.
don't want to talk to me ?
fine.
wanna disturb me?
i can't be bothered anymore.

felt lousy today too.
got back one of my gp essays that day.
i failed AGAIN.
scoring a language mark of merely 8/25
today ,mrs sim gave us back our econs test....
she told me : claudia, please watch out for your engalando(in other words,english)
my friends came to me saying : aiyo claudia ! i wonder how you topped our class for lit!
others reply saying : ya !!! it's a miracle.
so far, what made me proud of myself was my english.
at elast, in secondary school.
now in JC,
in 2A01,
i feel like crap.
it suddenly dawned upon me that my english sucks.
it might sound trivial.
but it was quite a huge blow to me.
i felt lousy.
like seriously.

seriously, maybe the world would be a better place if i just shut up, like what my friends always never fail to remind me.

im sorry if this post is a tad depressing.
let's just pray that something over the weekend would be able to perk me up.

♥Friday, July 25, 2008

i think blogger really hates me.
like truly, madly, deeply.
so sad.
it doesn't want to let me upload photos.
im so sorry you guys are stuck having to read all words and no photos:(

anyway,
was talking to SOMEBODY about platonic friendships and whether he believes in them or not?
cause no offence to whoever who do not believe in them or whatever,
i find it a tad irritating to have people coming up to me asking if me and so and so are together,
or if he likes me or vice versa?
and all these simply cause...
we're close.period.
does that mean that we can't just be friends?
i have quite a few guy friends,
so does that mean i like all of them?
or vice versa?

seriously, this is such a weird world-_-

anyway, i've been eating loads and loads of food this week, i don't know why!!!!
and i've not been exercising at all!!!
i feel fat.
like really fat.
but when i tell people that i feel fat,
eithere i get brushed off or get scolded.
booo.... seriously!!!
i breath in air also can gain weight can!!!!
nobody believes me ):

brother's back from australia!
thank you god,
for keeping him safe.
for helping him learn more about you.
for making him happy.
most importantly, thank you for bring him back to me.
he's been missed much (:



you're important to me.
really.so so much.
i love you.

♥Thursday, July 24, 2008

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.-- Jeremiah 29:11

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"- matthew 6.26

so right.
we need to start studying.
we need to start bucking up.
the teachers have started getting desperate for us.
so why are we still in a daze~
wake up!
wake up!
before it's too late.

before that,
i need to get you outta my head.
like really OUT of it.
nonono...
i am rather certain that i no longer like you.
like really.
because,
too many others are liking and falling in love with you.
i would like to be with you.
but i just dont like competition,
and the insecurity that i feel around you.
so,
i'm going to treat you normally.
nonono.
again,
why am i treating you special in the first place?
right.
i forgot,
my life is full of contradictions now.
i shall be indifferent.
for.....
the opposite of love is not hate....
but indifference.
so yes,i shall do that.
yes, indeed~




it's just, i liked the way you protected me today~

♥Tuesday, July 22, 2008

yes, so blogger hates me again. sorry fiona!! i tried deleting the link . but then they kept failing i shall try again when i come on alright ? anyway, don't be so sad. eveyrhting will be fine (:

i'm feeling very lazy to blog much today, so .... it shall be a short post.

p.s i can't wait for the NIKE 10km run with my class!!!! MAIMAI , HURRY SIGN UP!!! ahhahah hope we'll all be able to take part in it and it'll be etched on our memory for years!! hahah

oh and i still cant upload photos. ahh !! my blog's gonna turn boring sooooon. help~~ hahah

♥Thursday, July 17, 2008

right .. there's still something wrong it the photo uploading thing!!!!!!boooo.
alright shall stop whining. haha
anyway, today's been a really peculiar day. i cried twice during school today!!!!

the first time was for a really dumbass reason, really. as usual, leo fiona and i were the first to arrive at LT1 for our literature lecture. and as usual, our MISTER LEO decided to scare us with his ghost stories.by then, i was already kinda freaking out but i pretended that i was alright by just sitting in my seat without moving.but inside, my heart was about to jump out.anyway, fiona walked over to the lighting switches and went to switch off all the LT lights!!!!and she walked out !!!! i was even more terrified but i couldn't move out of my chair. it's as though my ass was rooted to the seat, but at that time, it wasn't to the 'ohmigosh!!!' extent kinda scary cuase leo was also there. BUT then, he decided to run out tooooooo!!!! and despite my repeated exclaimations to him, he just ignored me !!! i didn't wanna cry. i really didn't want to. it's not that im afraid of the dark. really im not.i sleep in the dark hello???? but the fact is.... imagine having ghost stories told to you about the LTs before that, and somebody switches off ALL the lights inside and you're left ALL BY YOURSELf inside the whole dark black room....

naturally, being the person who usually thinks too much, my imagination went wild and the worst thing was i was sitting on the first row of the LT?? which emans that my imagination had a large room to roam about ??? i started imagine all the frightening images and all.and couldn't stop the tears from rolling down. how embarrasing.

the second time was hmmm... i dont know. ahhah it was council investiture. and when i saw the old batch of councillors walking out, i just felt SO SAD and started crying. i hate farewells and bye byes..... they make me feel REALLY REALLY sad)): but how embarrassing that was . Fanglin later came up to me and when she knew i cried, se went : omg!!! even i didn't cry !!! why did you cry ???

just so you guys know, fanglin was one of the councillors and im merely a student helper-_- now you know why me crying is weird??? ahahha

anyway, aqidah and i continued staying at our post after investiture to see if people would have forgotten about us ?? hmmm... and sadly, we stayed there for about half an hour plus without people noticing our absence unti leo came by to take back his laptop. now i know the feeling of being forgotten. it... hmmm... feels kinda sad actually. ahahha so my friends, now that i know how it feels like, rest assured that i wont foget you all!! or at least, i'll try my best? hahaha

global economy test, econ's demand and supply timed practice tomorrow. boooo.....






i felt like hugging you today.i wish i had.

♥Tuesday, July 15, 2008

right... so blogger decided that i must have had offended it and now refuses to upload my photos. so you guys are stuck having to see my grotesque photos of me.hahaha

anyway, i went to Shuxian's blog and this was what she wrote about me !! ahah
just so you guys know... it was this game that she's playing.haha !
Leave a comment in my tagboard and I'll..
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
2. Associate you with a song / movie.
3. Tell a random fact about you
4. Tell a first memory about you.
5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.

Claudia Ng
1) why i befriended you: because you're unique and one of a kind.
2) Song/movie: quando quando quando. you keep saying that in sec 4. HAHAHA
3) Random fact: you are DAMN patriotic!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! the red and whites claudy. colour added JUST for you =) ( yes,yes, she added red and white which my blog cant catch.haha!!)
4) first memory: sec 1. the bespectacled jumpy girl in pigtails thats always with faith. =D
5) Animal/fruit: apple. cos its my favourite fruit =)
6) Somthing i've always wanted to know abt you: this may not be about you, but will you be my bridesmaid if i ever get married?

to Shuxian's question 6:
YES SWEETIE, OF COURSE I'LL BE GLAD TO BE YOUR BRIDESMAID!!! and you wont regret it (: cause i'll be the PRETTIEST, MOST AWESOME BRIDESMAID you can ever find(((: HEHEHEH !!!

tomorrow's council investiture and i know that few of my friends are feeling kinda down about it... or rather, having mixed feelings about that?i wonder if friendship is really that weak? you have to be around each other before you guys can get closer and have a strong bond? isn't that kinda sad? but it's true too.... think back to those few people in my life whom i've once been close to . but after not meeting up and distancing away from each other.now, whenever people ask: hey !!! what's up with so-and-so?? and i'll be like : WHOOOO???? then realised: oooh !!! that person was once my close friend!!

oh well, i am so gonna make sure that treasure those whom i deem precious to be and work hard to make sure we don't drift. so like what somebody once told me about being in a 'filtering' mode. maybe now im in that mode? figuring out who's close or not close to me.


i'll fall for a guy who uses endearments and who loves hugs(:

♥Monday, July 14, 2008

♥Saturday, July 12, 2008

whew.
finally the end of the day.
boy, was today tiring man!!!!!
but im glad i perservered through it,despite my clique not being around at all.
am proud of myself,yo!! hhaha
i realise what maturity can do to somebody.
i used to be really afraid of being alone,
of doing things by myself,
to the extent of being seen alone?
but this year, i did see myself blossoming into a independent young lady.
i admit,yes, sometimes i tend to still revert vackto my old clingy self,
somedays, i still would feel lonely if im alone.
but today, i managed to survive!!
through the tedious workload,classes.
i wanna thank Charlotte and shirlene for trying to make me feel as unlonesome as possible ?
you guys are great.

and thanks to Nur Aqidah too!
i know i was easily irritable today.
i know i did flare out at you.
but you,my sweetheart,
not only did you just keep quiet about it,
you were really patient and understanding about it too.
thanks a lot babe, really.
you're really precious to me.


it's either im maturing too fast, or...
the longer i know you,
the more childish you seem to be.
your flippant attitude towards things irks me so.
to you, im just a nosy naggy woman aren't i ?
i bet you question what right do i even have to scold you ?
you're right .
your parents don't even scold you,
so what right do i have ?
so, i shall just say....
it's your future.
i dont care if you loathe me for even daring to scold you or whatever,
you're free to think bad of me or whatever.
but please....
just mature could you ?
grow up,dear,grow up.

♥Wednesday, July 09, 2008

work is dragging me down.
i find it hard to breath.
would somebody help me please?

work due tomorrow

1. 8 history essay corrections
2. history SEA quiz
3. econ's timed practice test
4. econ's macro conflict test
5. lit consultation preparation work

oh gosh,

Jc life is beginning to make me feel suffocated and inferior.

can i really make it through this huge obstacle?

im beginning to lose faith in myself

dear god, please give me strength to endure.

♥Tuesday, July 08, 2008

anyway my msn onver with fanglin. she's a real sweetheart, that girl!(:

FANGLIN(: ;; says:
CLAUDIA NG! i'm gonna tell you this.. and always remember in ur heart!
i am very glad that i found you. well, what brought us close together is leo....it's his bdae.. and i will always remember that.. how i get you into big trouble,how i got you so troubled, how i got you to be the evil one. friendship is easy to find......but diff to maintain right? But, please always know that......... i treat you even better than _____, you know me more than _____. not that im not close to her.. it's juz that she doesnt give me the chance to. please always remember that you are as special as bob, as special as leo.... it's just that we're from diff class and that we dont have the bond that's why u might be feeling tat way! Please do not feel that way alright? please trust me.. if not trust yourself that u can maintain this friendship. (:
SMILE! you know what... u know me more than ______ knows me.

to fanglin: you're precious to me too darl!!! thanks for calming my doubtful heart and reassuring me. it's a wonder how we've gotten close isn't it ? all the funny moments that happens when we're together will always be etch in my mind. im glad to have known you my dear(: really.

♥Sunday, July 06, 2008

im weird these few days.
just plain weird.
i think im a tad too possesive.
maybe a tad is even the understatement of the year.
it's just.....
this is hard to say....
but ....
i guess there's a selfish streak in me...
to the extent of being insecure...
i just can't stand the thought of having to lose.....
to lose the people who are dear to me....
whom i care about...
the thought....
the thought that they'll just drift away from me....
and i'll lose them...
forever,forever,forever.

i hate the fact that im selfish.

♥Saturday, July 05, 2008

AHHHH !!!! exhausted.really feel like taking a break from my current life especially in the studies department.it's like.... seriously............. work coming in never ending but work finishing is never .... finish ? OMG.... look at how im rambling on and on.anyway for aqidah's sake ( for her insistance that im not eating!!!), i ate 4 fishballs for dinner on which i wasted hell lot of tissue papers on them trying to squeeze the oil out can ??? there you go !

anyway .... here are some love shoutout for these particularly sweeties of mine!!!

phyllis noriko!!!
dont you feel down now!!!! you know you'll never be alone cause you'll lways have us !! you're miss much, honey !!<3

yang fanglin!!
im so glad things are fine now darling!!! just know that no matter what happens... you're still very precious to that person and even though he might be an idiot at times.... well, dont get too affected by it ya ??? it's not personal... and he really REALLY treasures you!! i can really vouch for that !! we both love you sweetie !!!<3

♥Thursday, July 03, 2008

so right.let's go and count just how many silly things i've done during this week alone.top 6 at least.from the 5th.
i went up the bus, wanted to tap my ezlink card on the tapping machine... tapped a few times in fact. but my card didn't give out the 'deeeee' sound. i thought my card spoilt.checked it and realised........ i had all along been placing my card on the bell instead of the machine. OMG.

and now...... going to the FIRST MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT!!!!*drumrolls!!

leo was absent on mon.so we were messaging and i typed this to him.
me : are you still bombing yoshinoya????
leo: HUH ??? YOSHINOYA??
i still didn't realise my mistake...so....
me asked the people who were in class then : AYYY !!! didn't US drop the atom bomb on yoshinoya??
class was stunned in silence then......
patson: OHMIGOSH CLAUDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!
the class burst out laughing nonstop.
patson went to write on the whiteboard
'us bombed yoshinoya!'-claudia ng,2A01
OMG.... EMBARRASSING.

anyway, it was so super freaky?? mrs sim said she dreamt of me that night!!! and she said the dream was that i took back my A level results and i went up to her to tell her that i manage to get into university. OMG!!!! what does that mean ??????

anyway, am feeling duper exhausted recently. can anybody tell me how to miraculously get back my energy ??i need it to come back urgently ):

♥Wednesday, July 02, 2008

faith!
bestie!!
fanglin!!
mcmillan!
camaraderiegems
shoes!
noriko!
roar!
lionel!
shermaine!
mai!
chow!
tzewei!
dom!

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